Repay You, Brother Of Mine
by MyNameIsDoodle
Summary: Alphonse never saw his brother as one to get sick, but now he sees his brother becoming sicker and sicker before his eyes...EdwardXRoy. Yaoi. I do not own Full Metal Alchemist. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

"I never realised how mortal my older brother was…how fragile…how breakable a human life could be. He always recovered, he always held a brave face…he was always stronger than I could ever be…so self sacrificing…but…that was before he became ill. Then I realised…my older brother was just as mortal as any other human being…a delicate life that can be taken in an instant…" Alphonse Elric.

At the time, it seemed the illness had occurred out of the blue, over night. But now when I look back, there were signs that Brother was slowly turning sicker, those signs I ignored or simply didn't see…those signs that only became clear when I'd found out just how sick he had become.

Brother started coughing, a harsh raspy cough that seemed to wrack his entire body, echoing and scratching the inside of his chest. I turned to look at him, noticing how flushed his face was becoming, how feeble he appeared. It was strange…I'd seen him injured in a hospital bed before…but for some reason this was different. He was sick, something he could not have prevented, and something that wasn't down to his rashness.

"Brother…are you coming down with a cold?" I asked softly once his coughing had eventually ceased. His breathing was strange, heaving but hollow.

Brother smiled at me, turning to look directly at me, the way he does when he tries to convince me he's fine.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Al," he answered, tapping his chest. "My throat tickled a little bit."

What a lie, Brother…a tickly throat couldn't have made you cough so badly…I wanted to argue, I wanted to let him know that I knew he was lying. But the look in his eyes…he knew I knew he was lying…but his golden eyes looked pleading as they watched me, as if he was trying to forget about his "tickly throat". I sighed.

"You should take a few days of work then, if you're sick," I pointed out, glancing quickly at the amber sky. We were out in the country, not knowing where we were going or how we were getting there. Brother had asked to come out for the day, just to relax in peace and quiet. It was strange…strange how relaxed he seemed out here away from the city. Maybe it reminded him of home…I couldn't be sure.

"Are you kidding?" Brother laughed a dark flat laugh. "Don't be silly, Al. It's just my throat, is all. No big deal. You really should stop worrying, you're gonna give yourself wrinkles."

"Isn't that frowning?" I teased half heartedly, knowing now he wanted to change the subject from him. He hated talking about himself, I don't know why. There are a lot of things I don't know about my brother…

Brother considered the frowning idea for a moment, putting his index finger to his chin in deep thought, eyes glancing upwards as if he was physically searching his brain.

"Hmm…maybe you're right…" he murmured after a moment's thought. "Then what does worrying cause?"

I sighed once more, hiding a laugh. "You really do think about stupid things, Brother. We better head back then since you're so set on working tomorrow. We have to be up early remember."

I received a lot of whining then as we headed back home, but I couldn't help but let my thoughts wander to Brother's health. Was he getting sick? I never remember Brother being sick…never. It sort of…scared me…

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**EDWARD'S POINT OF VIEW**

My cough started to get worse when we got home. Alphonse had excused me to go into the bedroom to catch up on some sleep whilst he caught up on some reading. I was happy to get away from those eyes, those eyes that seemed to see right through my smile. He was always able to do that, even when we were kids. When everyone else believed I was fine, he would always watch me and wait for me to spill my guts to him. But I couldn't spill this…it would crush him.

I'd known for a while now…but it'd only just started to get worse. My chest was in pure agony, tightening and loosening with every intake of oxygen I took. When I inhaled, my lungs seemed to clench and when I exhaled, my lungs seemed to loosen up like I was breaking in half. I could hear my own breathing, rasping as I stared at my reflection, touching my chest with my mechanical arm. The metal cooled my chest, almost numbing the ache that stirred there. I closed my eyes, tilting my head backwards as I allowed myself to think, to try to distract my mind as well as my body.

"It gets worse before it gets better…" I whispered after a moment, my eyes reopening slowly. I rubbed my metal fingertips along my chest, rubbing in small circular motions to loosen up my chest. "You just have to keep taking your medicine…and you'll be okay. You'll be just fine…"

I sat on my bed, the springs creaking beneath me. I lay back, a rising sensation enflaming my chest. I grimaced. It felt like my organs were inflating inside of my chest, about to burst. I rolled onto my side and the pain eased. And that's when the coughing started up again. I coughed, releasing out the tension in my lungs, my back lurching with every cough, my eyes beginning to water as the oxygen quickly got drained from my lungs.

"Fuck…" I groaned as the coughing subsided, choking out the remaining knots in my chest. I curled up, tucking my knees upwards into my chest, hugging my knees as I curled up into a ball, clenching my fists into the sheets as the pain returned, spluttering and gasping in between breaths…


	2. Chapter 2

**Edward's POV**

I tossed and turned, the sheets getting caught in my toes and tightening around my hips as I turned violently onto my side, sucking in the oxygen as it got difficult to breathe. I opened my eyes slightly; cold tears that were unable to spill before now sliding down my cheeks. I wiped the clammy sweat from my forehead, rubbing my eyes as I slowly heaved myself up into a sitting position. My chest was heaving up and down, like I'd been running a marathon. It was getting so hard to sleep these days…

I realised my body was clammy all over, every inch of me aflame. The sheets were sticking to my organic limbs, my bed shirt plastered to my chest. I rolled my eyes as I changed my shirt, the new shirt fresh and cool against my humid skin. It didn't take long for the coughing to start up again, the air catching in my throat. I cleared my throat as I felt it coming on, biting my bottom lip so hard I could taste iron in my mouth, praying that I won't cough too loud to disturb Al.

I heard some movement from downstairs and cursed under my breath, wiping the beads of sweat away from my forehead with my hand, lying down on my side. Al had heard for sure…great. More reason for him to insist I had the day off tomorrow. I closed my eyes, trying to even out my breathing so it sounded and appeared fast asleep.

I heard the door creak slightly, feeling his knowing gaze upon me. Although my eyes were closed, I could feel his eyes on me, the stare so physical it sent violent shivers down my spine. There was silence, an awkward atmosphere passing between us although we weren't speaking. My heart hammered in my chest, pounding as I found it harder to appear asleep. I heard Al inhale deeply before hearing the door click, closing behind him. I opened my eyes slightly, feeling a pang of guilt.

_Sorry…Al…_I thought, the pace of my heart slowing to a jog. _I just can't…_

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**Alphonse's POV**

I couldn't keep it inside any longer. I heard him last night…Brother was definitely sick. Very sick by the sound of it. And it terrified me…it terrified me to my core that something may be wrong with my older brother…the only real family I had left.

He came down the stairs at 06:00am, looking drained, his blond hair disarray obviously from tossing and turning all night. His skin was so pale…it scared me a little.

Silence filled in the space between us, me sitting down on a chair in the kitchen, he standing over the sink, making himself a glass of water. I watched him, noticing the ever so slight trembles of his arms as they supported him. I took a deep breath before cutting the silence between us like a blade.

"You're sick, Brother…" I said softly and slowly, so not to come across like I was attacking him. His body tensed a little, knowing he was caught. I waited. His shoulders slumped and he turned round to face me, a grin on his face. That fake smile made me angry in a way, angry that he was still concealing the truth from me.

"What? Oh you mean yesterday?" Brother babbled as a sprinkle of pink on his cheek that coloured his chalky complexion. "Don't be silly, Al. It's just a small chest cold. I feel a lot better today…"

I rose to my feet, knocking my chair to the floor in the process. I clutched his shoulders, shaking him gently.

"Don't lie to me!" I yelled all my concern and frustration taking over my actions. "Edward! You're sick! I heard you coughing last night and that does not sound like a chest cold! You're worrying me, Brother…you're scaring me! I don't want to lose you…"

Brother narrowed his eyes, his lips pressing into a thin line.

"Let go of me, Al," he said firmly. I realised my grip on him was tightening, I saw him grimace a little as I pressed on his organic shoulder. "Alphonse…" he said again but louder and firmer. "You're hurting me." I reluctantly let my hands drop from his shoulders, looking down at him.

"Tell me…" I whispered meekly, my hands trembling. "Tell me, Brother…please…"

"I don't have to tell you everything," Brother replied flatly. "I am fine, Al. And that's the truth. I don't know what else you want from me…I promised you I wouldn't stop until I have our bodies back the way they were…it's my fault and I refuse to let a small cough stop me from finding a way to get our old bodies back. So just let me get on with it…please…" his eyes looked grim as he smiled, the corners of his lips raising ever so slightly, just enough to dent his right cheek with the dimple he's had ever since we were kids.

I hesitated. He knew he was sick…he knew it in his gut…he must. But Brother won't stop blaming himself until he gets our bodies back to normal, and I hate it when he blames himself. It makes him sick, physically as well as mentally. Even if he did have the day off, he'd only wallow in self pity and sulk that he couldn't go to work. So I allowed it to drop.

"Fine…" I tried to return his easy-going manner. "But promise me if you get worse you'll go to a doctor."

Brother rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. "Fine…so long as I don't have to have a needle." He teased, taking a sip of his glass of water. "We better go, Al."

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**Edward's POV**

Half way through the day I began to feel light headed. Fainting was the last thing I needed right now, especially since Al had been on my case all morning. He'd been casting me anxious glances, asking how I felt, offering to ask Colonel Mustang if I could have the rest of the day off. This is EXACTLY why I didn't want him to know. He'd panic and fuss over me, like the worry pot he's always been. I smiled at that thought.

"Fullmetal."

I glanced up from my desk, my eyes narrowing a little as they landed on the ever so smug vision of Roy Mustang.

"Yeah, what?" I said, irritated when he didn't continue.

"You look a little pale," Mustang said, his voice sounding confusingly worried. "You feel okay?"

Hmph…I guess even grumpy assed men getting worried sometimes…funny. I never really though of Mustang as the worrying type, especially when it came to me.

"I'm fine," I dismissed, bowing my head once more over my book. "Just a little jetlagged. I guess I haven't been sleeping well…"

Silence. Why did everyone run out of things to say these days? I hate silence. It makes me feel awkward…like I should say something but I'm not 100% sure what. I felt his eyes on me, just like Al's, as I read. My face heated up at the feeling of his eyes on me, fighting the urge to look back up. I made it clear to him that the conversation was done with by keeping my head down.

"If that's how it is, then there's no reason for myself to worry," Mustang said eventually, his voice heavy with an emotion I couldn't quite put my hand on. Disappointment? Concern? Frustration? "Just let me know if you need a break, alright, squirt?"

I raised my head, teeth gritted like a dog ready to bite. It surprised me when he put his hand on top of my head, ruffling my hair a little. My face dropped, my mouth parting a little as if I wanted to say something to retaliate but couldn't find them. I closed one of my eyes, peering up at him with the one. He was sure in a weird mood today…did someone put some caffeine pills in his coffee again? After a moment, he put his hands back in his pockets, smiling at me before walking away.

I shook my head, shaking off the unexplainable blush that clung to my cheeks. Shaking my head so vigorously wasn't a good idea, since it made the dizziness worse. My stomach twisted unfavourably, a sickly lump rising in my throat like a ball of vomit. I pinched the bridge of my nose, holding back a coughing fit that built inside my chest.

"No, no, no, not now…" I groaned, pushing myself up to my feet. I staggered out of the room and down the hall to the water machine. It was strange how unstable the hall was becoming. It felt like I was on a boat and it was rocking against the waves. The room spun like I had been on a spinning chair for about an hour and everything was trying to find its natural place once the spinning motion had stopped.

I gripped the water machine, shakily putting a plastic cup underneath the spout. The water began to shoot out, filling the cup up quickly. I breathed in through my mouth, trying to refresh my mouth from its dry feeling, trying to subside the growing twists in my gut. I went to grab the cub once it had reached the rim when my knee suddenly gave way. My other knee followed. My hand knocked the cup flying, icy cold water spilling all over me. I fell to my chest, the spinning only getting worse despite the fact I was lying still. A ripping pain erupted in my chest and I began coughing, depriving my lungs from the oxygen it desperately needed. My eyelids turned heavy, fluttering so I could see black curtains dropping over my vision. I heard static in my ears, saw a flash of white and then nothing…


	3. Chapter 3

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**Hey everyone! It is MyNameIsDoodle and I just want to say thank you to everyone who have reviewed my story and saved it to favourites. It means a lot! Just want to quickly say, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, the characters etc, even though I wish I did! I would've put Roy and Edward together. Oh well. I recommend when you read this, you listen to these songs that helped me write the scene in the first place!**

**What Hurts The Most – Rascal Flatts**

**Tourniquet – Evanescence**

**Already Over (Acoustic) – Red**

**Nothing I Won't Give – Vic Mignogna**

**Thank you all again and enjoy**

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**Edward's POV**

There was nothing but white before my eyes, and the static continued to fizz and crackle in my ears. It was weird, it didn't hurt anymore. It felt like I was nothing but a ghost, no physical attachments, no feelings, and no movement from me. I couldn't feel any rising movements of my chest as I breathed; I couldn't feel any minute movements like blinking or stirring within my joints. Within the static, I could hear some voices. It was almost like white noise…noises thrown into the static, piecing together like voices. None of the voices made actual sense…but then…

"What's wrong, Edward? You're a big boy now…you're too old for this."

Mom? I would know that voice anywhere. It was almost like I had been free falling into a never ending abyss, but now it was as if I had stopped falling, jolting suddenly. My eyes snapped open and I saw a ceiling.

All my feelings returned, my consciousness taking in the motions of my chest rising and falling, the air cold to my lungs. The moment my eyes snapped open was the moment the wave of nausea hit me. I groaned, rubbing my eyes from the tears that had sprang there upon the moment of hearing her voice. It was weird that a voice that used to bring so much comfort suddenly brought tears to my eyes.

"Brother?"

I flinched at the sound of a voice, turning my head a little to see Al standing there next to my bed. He knelt down, his armour creaking and clashing gently as the metal joints moved against one another.

"Al…phonse…" I whispered, finding my lips numb and clumsy. I voice was strange in my ears; it seemed to echo all around me. I recoiled at the sound.

"Are you in any pain…Brother?" Al said softly, a helpless tone colouring his voice.

I knew what that meant. He blamed himself. Right now, I bet the thoughts reeling through his mind was that he should of never let me go to work, that he should've been there for me and been more firm. I pushed back the queasiness in my gut for a moment, turning a blind eye to the gathering shooting pain in my chest, and went to sit up.

"Al, don't you even dare blame yourself…" I insisted firmly but gently.

His hand touched my organic shoulder, a sense of determination to make things better emitting from him. I looked up at my younger brother, reluctantly lying back down into the sheets.

"Of course I'll blame myself, Brother…" Al murmured sadly. "You collapsed…"

"That was my own damn fault, Al," I persisted, frowning a little. "It's not as if you control my body now, is it? It was my fault, I should've done what you said and relaxed at home, you _did _tell me, Al, and I chose not to…MY choice…"

"But maybe if I was a little stricter," Al interrupted, looking at me. "Maybe if I'd made you stay home rather than let you have your way, maybe if I had challenged you earlier or noticed it sooner…but I didn't…" his fists clenched into the bed sheets at that.

I looked away. "You can't prevent every avalanche, Alphonse…" I sighed. "You tried and I ignored it. Not your fault. Mine. If you just think of ways you could've prevented things, you'll never solve the issue. Rather than focus on the actual avalanche, focus on the people under it…focus on them, not the past."

Before Al could reply to that, the door opened and Colonel Mustang and a doctor walked through. Mustang gave me such a look…a look of despair and concern that I'd never seen lurk in those charcoal eyes of his. It made me blush and look away; I couldn't even look at him. Al slowly rose to his feet and stepped out of the doctor's way.

"Hello, Edward," the doctor said lightly, smiling in a sickly distasteful manner. "My name is Doctor Hendric. Now, could you tell me if you feel any pain and where?"

I hated doctors. So false. They annoyed me to the core. But I guess I'll have to let this lie.

"Yeah…in my chest," I placed my hand to the area in my chest, feeling an almost burning sensation as my cold metal fingertips touched it.

Doctor Hendric's eyes narrowed a little. "Alright then, Edward. Please remove your shirt for me so I can have a better look."

I obliged, sitting up a little in order to remove the material. He began asking me questions like where about it hurt and how much, what kind of pain it was, did it hurt when I breathed…it seemed like I was going on for ages but eventually a darkened look went over his eyes and he walked over to Mustang.

"Please may I speak to you outside, Colonel," Doctor Hendric whispered. Mustang nodded, cast me a worried glance and walked outside.

I settled down into my pillows, closing my eyes to fight back the rising pain.

"Brother…" Alphonse murmured, touching my forehead. "When they find out what's wrong with you…I'll…I promise I'll…"

"Alphonse…" I breathed, opening my eyes slightly. "I know…I know what's wrong with me…"

Al looked perplexed. "What do you mean, Brother?"

"I went to a doctor a while ago…" I explained quietly. "It's called Pleural Effusion; it's a disorder of the lungs. It's when fluid the two layers of the pleura apart so they don't rub together when you breathe. However, a large amount of extra fluid can push the pleura against your lung until the lung, or a part of it, collapses. This can make it hard for you to breathe. When you have pleurisy, the inflamed layers of the pleura make a rough, scratchy sound as they rub against each other when you breathe."

Alphonse took in everything I said slowly, remaining silent. I closed my eyes, coughing a little.

"Brother…" Al said helplessly. I couldn't open my eyes this time. I was too tired. I just ended up drifting off to sleep…but I heard her voice once more…

"Use that, and cooperate and live together…"

"What are you talking about, Mom?" I said, my voice leaving my lips as my younger self.

"Can you transmute something for me, Edward?"

That image…that time…when her hand slowly slipped from my own…that was the image that stuck in my head as I slipped into unconsciousness…


	4. Chapter 4

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**WARNING: Yaoi/Shonen-ai is involved in this scene. Also, the illness that Edward has is a real illness but I am not sure about the actual treatment of the illness in this time era etc so sorry for any mistakes. But hope you're enjoying the story!!!**

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**Roy's POV**

Alphonse had refused to leave his brother's side the entire day. Fullmetal had drifted off, and had been asleep for nearly eight hours now. It started to get late, and Alphonse looked almost defeated.

"Take a rest, Elric," I offered softly, putting my hand on his shoulder. "You need to rest too…"

"I don't sleep, remember?" Alphonse interrupted me flatly.

I smiled a little. "Sure but I'm sure you're stressed out," I pressed. "Just take a break, yeah? I'll keep an eye on the pip…" I stopped myself. "…on your brother…"

Alphonse hesitated but eventually agreed, stroking Fullmetal's bangs from his closed eyes before rising to his feet. He looked at me, as if to say: "It's only for a while…if anything happens to him while I'm gone I'm holding you personally responsible".

I closed the door behind him, sighing as he left the room. I turned to glance at the sleeping alchemist, his chest shakily rising before falling. His breaths were weird, ragged and raspy. I chewed my bottom lip, feeling an icy plummet to my gut. I've never seen him like this…and by the looks of things, neither has Alphonse.

I picked up the wooden chair in the corner of the room, carrying it over to Fullmetal's bedside. I sat down; flinching as the wood creaked beneath my weight, scared it might awaken him but he remained asleep. I watched him, resting my cheek against my palm. I couldn't tear my eyes from him for a split second.

The light caught the beads of sweat that prickled on his forehead, slowly trickling down the side of his face to drip off his chin. Fullmetal's jaw clenched and his eyes squeezed tighter, a small groan escaping his lips. I took the cold wet towel from his forehead and dunked it in the bowl of freezing water, wringing it of excess water and gently pressing it to his skin. He cringed at the icy sensation but eventually relaxing into it as I gently pressed with my fingertips, allowing the cool liquid to settle the burning temperature of his skin.

To my surprise, his eyelids flickered a little before his eyes slowly opened, a small whimper escaping his parted lips as his body re-awakened to the pain. I concealed my concern by smiling wryly at him, stroking the towel on his forehead to spread out the water.

"How you holding in there, Fullmetal?" I whispered, sitting myself back down onto my chair, leaning forward to continue rubbing his forehead.

"I'm okay…" Fullmetal murmured, his voice hoarse. Almost immediately he began to cough, the cough sounding wet and choking.

"Yeah…I'm completely convinced," I muttered, sitting him up a little to rub his back in circular motions with my palm, coaxing out the splutters. His body slightly tensed as he sat up but his bunched muscles eventually relaxed.

"Does that hurt?" I asked, not even bothering to suppress the concern that coated my tone.

Fullmetal shook his head slowly. "That actually feels quite nice…"

"Well, ladies always said I had the magic touch," I teased, rubbing a little lower down his back.

"Yeah, I'm sure they do…" Fullmetal replied thoughtfully. "I'm sure your Mom loves it when you rub her feet like this for your allowance."

I laughed shortly. "I sure hope you know how vulnerable you are right now, Fullmetal."

Neither of us spoke for a while. I continued to stroke and rub his back, moving up to his shoulders and down to the narrow of his ribcage, then down to his lower back. I guess he must've given up with the wise cracks since his back slightly arched. I don't know how we got this way. Before I knew what was happening, I'd kicked off my boots and was sitting behind him, allowing him to sit in between my legs as I massaged him, his back leaning against my chest for support. He seemed a lot lighter and frailer now under my touch, and that was not just me getting at him because he was a lot shorter than I. He felt small and helpless, and it distressed me a lot. Someone who always insisted on fighting his own battles and someone who always discharged himself from hospital several weeks early; was now feverish underneath my fingertips and I could feel his bones as I massaged him. He was losing a lot of weight.

I hadn't realised I'd stopped until he turned his head to look at me, golden eyes bewildered.

"Colonel? Are you alright?" Fullmetal asked, blinking.

I looked at him, my eyes locking with his. His complexion had changed too, almost to a deathly yellow rather than a peachy colour. His lips looked a little dry too, and a little sore. There were small blotches of purple underneath his eyes from lack of sleep, and his blond hair was a little tangled where it would usually be braided. No matter what I did, no matter what I told myself, my eyes seemed to lead back to the same spot. His lips. I wanted to soothe those sore lips with my own, to soften them with my own.

"Colonel…" Fullmetal went to say when I suddenly snatched the moment and claimed his lips with my own. His eyes went incredibly wide, his lips parting instinctively as if to tell me to stop but my lips refused to let him speak, moulding themselves into the shape of his own. I closed my eyes before pulling away, our lips making a small wet noise as mine departed. I opened my eyes a little to see his eyes on mine, looking slightly dazed.

"Don't be so formal, Edward…" I murmured, bringing my gloved hand to his cheek, running my thumb along his cheekbone. A million emotions flooded through me. Guilt…disgust in myself…I'd just kissed Edward Elric. The pipsqueak. The squirt. The Fullmetal Alchemist. Why had I done that? Someone that looked up to me…someone that probably hated my guts for the way I'd talked to him all these years. But at the same time, my stomach twisted. I was excited, adrenaline was pulsing around my body making me feel like squirming and declaring his lips my own once more.

I looked down, ashamed when he said and did nothing. I climbed to my feet, feeling like I'd just taken advantage of the moment. I laid him back down and was walking towards the door.

"I'll get your brother…he's bound to be worried about…" I started but I never finished. I felt a small tug on the back of my jacket. I halted, turning my head to see he'd sat himself up, holding onto the fabric of my jacket. Edward looked up at me, ember eyes brimming with tears, a desperation taking over his expression.

"Roy…" he choked, letting his hand fall from my coat. I turned round to steady his slumping body, trying to get him to lie back down only to find his lips crushing my own. Instinct took over as I returned his kiss, one hand clutching his back whilst the other held his hip. His hip bucked against me, his instinct obviously taking control of his actions also.

I pulled him closer to me; his heart pounding against my chest as our chests gently collided. Our bodies seemed to fit; like we were two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that had finally found its missing piece. We clicked, we meshed, and we connected. His hips fitted in mine, and I grinded against him, wanting to feel his body more, to hear his voice. I guess I got too carried away for I felt him tense slightly and heard him wince in my ear.

I pulled away at that, my hands cupping his perfect face in my hands. He looked confused, holding my hand to his face, pressing his cheek into my palm.

"Not while you're sick, Edward," I explained tenderly.

"Just stay then…" Edward pleaded quietly, looking terrified at the idea of being alone. I half smiled at him, agreeing. We both climbed into the bed, Edward in front of me and me behind him. His back pressed against my chest once more, making my heart pump faster. He must've felt it against him for I heard him giggle a little. I pressed my lips to his hair, breathing in his familiar scent, which I now thought was the most beautiful fragrance in the entire world. His head rested perfectly against my chest, so I had to bend my head a little to plant a kiss on his hair but I didn't mind. It made me desire him so much more. He was extremely cute, especially seeing how small he was…

"You just called me small," Edward mumbled, snuggling into the sheets. I chuckled, locking my arms protectively around his waist, my hands touching his little tummy.

"Not aloud," I denied playfully.

"Well I just thought about you too…"

"And what did you think?"

"That I don't know how things ended up like this."

I laughed quietly. "To be truthfully honest…neither do I…"


	5. Chapter 5

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**Hey, guys, thank you again for the reviews and favourites on this fan fiction. It started out as an Edward fan fiction but I guess things just work out differently. But the focus on the brothers is the main story as well as the side story of Edward and Roy. So please be patient with updates since it's hard to get my head around the characters. I do not own any of the characters of Fullmetal Alchemist.**

**For this chapter, I recommend listening to "Brothers" by Vic Mignogna. **

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**Alphonse's POV**

I had been standing outside, staring up at the sky. It was strange. I seemed to lose all sense of time when I was staring at the sky like this; it was almost as if all I ever wanted to do was stare at the scenery. Was I like this when I was a kid? I guess the only people who'd remember that are Brother and Winry. No one else knew me, not even myself. What would happen to me if Brother died? What would I do…? I wouldn't even care about my body…he attached my body to this armour with his own blood…why would I carry on living when the person who had given me back mine is gone?

Thinking of Brother made me wonder how he was. I tore myself away from the sky and headed back inside. Then something made my spirit lift. I heard Brother's voice. I couldn't put the words together to make any sense but I heard it. I literally ran to the bedroom door, hand reaching to take the door handle when I heard Colonel Mustang's voice.

"So close your eyes and sleep!" his voice insisted softly on the other side of the door. "You need your rest, Edward."

Edward? Since when did Colonel address Brother so informally?

"As long as you stay with me," Brother's voice sounded hoarse but desperate. "I just want you to stay with me…"

My hand dropped from the door handle. I stared at it for a long time. I considered walking into the room, to demand if he needed me or not. But I guess I'm too much of a wimp…I just couldn't. Brother was awake…he wasn't coughing right now and that's all _I _wanted. That's all _I _needed right now. He was going to recover…he was bound to now. I walked away, taking my usual spot in the corner of the living room, staring at the sky once more through the window.

"Mom…Edward can't be with you right now," I whispered. "I'm sorry…but we need him for a little while longer…we'll both be with you sooner or later…you won't be alone anymore, right, Mom? Don't give up hope though, Mom. Just watch over Brother. Okay?"

I waited for the clouds to reply, for them to take form of her and for her to smile at me, to assure me that she understood in someway. But all I received was silence. All I could do was hope that that message reached her…hope that she didn't think me selfish for wanting Brother for longer…

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I didn't expect things to take a turn for the worse…not in any way. I was still sitting where I was from last night, my head till tilted upwards so I could stare outside. Then Colonel Mustang came down the stairs, looking weary.

"Alphonse," he nodded in my direction. "Your pipsqueak of a brother is still sleeping, so I best head off and get a fresh change of clothes. I should be back later this afternoon. Will you be alright looking after him by yourself?"

I felt a pang of jealousy towards him. Jealousy that _he'd _been the one who had been with Brother the entire time he was awake. The last time I'd spoken to _my _brother was before he'd passed out after telling me how sick he really was. Now I had the sleeping Brother once more. But I remembered hearing Brother's voice last night, he really wanted Colonel there…more than me…his own brother…

"Of course…" I said shortly. Mustang must've turned a blind eye to my lack of words and bid me goodbye, walking out the house.

I got to my feet and headed up to Brother's room. He looked a little tense and uneasy so I freshened up the towel on his forehead, giving it a squeeze. Brother breathed in through his mouth, panting as his eyes tightened. A blurry flash appeared before my eyes, the vision of our mother on her death bed. I froze.

Brother's eyes opened a little, half smiling.

"Hey, Al," he breathed. "I'm sorry about this…" he blinked, looking confused. "You okay?"

I shook of the feeling. "Yeah, I'm okay, Brother," I brushed off his concern. "I'm more than okay though now you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Um, okay I guess," Brother answered, not pressing the question any further. "My throat hurts a little. Hey, I want to go outside today. Can we?"

My eyes narrowed. "Brother, why are you so fidgety? Can't you take a week or so rest before you think of running off outside? You're really sick. The doctor said if you put too much strain…"

"But I want to go outside…" Brother interrupted meekly, his eyes determined.

"Maybe tomorrow." I felt like the older brother now, like a nagging parent.

Brother pouted and mumbled: "Fine", folding his arms. I laughed a little.

"You should take it easy," I insisted once more. "You're having trouble breathing and if you walk, you could become short of breath and faint again. The doctor said we just have to get rid of the fluid on your chest. He's not sure what the fluid is though…he said we just have to hope that it isn't blood."

"When can I go back to work then?" Brother looked up at me, a determined glint in his eyes.

"Not for a while…" I started.

Brother groaned through gritted teeth, heaving a heavily exaggerated sigh.

"I can't lie here and do nothing for 'a while'. I swore to myself I wouldn't rest until I have our bodies the way they used to…"

"Brother, you wouldn't be able to get our bodies back to normal when your body is weak and sick," I was starting to lose my temper. "Why are you so stubborn, Brother? You're making yourself sicker by stressing out about work, why can't you let things lie for a while. It's not as if we're getting any worse the way we are. You can find a way to get our old bodies back after you're better, nothing would have changed."

Brother's fist started to clench. "You idiot!" to my surprise, there were tears in his eyes. "It's _my _fault our bodies are this way. I carry that everywhere I go, and when I lay around doing nothing all day long it's the only thing I can think about. I need to work to get our bodies back, only then can I rest with a clear conscience. I ruined everything, Al. And it's my fault that you're…your body is like this…I know you hate it! If I had the choice between fixing my body or yours, I would fix yours. I could live with a body like this, but I can't live with the fact that I'm the one that did that to you!"

"And if you make yourself sicker, our bodies will _never _be the same!" I exclaimed, my fingers itching to grab his shoulders, to shake him until he saw sense. "If you die, Brother, I will be alone and I will never be the same…"

Brother scowled at me for the longest time before getting up from his bed.

"Brother! Lie down!" I had a bad feeling about where this was heading. If he moved too much, he'd become short of breath…he'd apply too much pressure on his lungs…too much pressure to his heart…

"I'm going to sit outside a while…" Brother looked at me, a solemn expression reading all over his profile. "Don't follow me, Alphonse. I want to be alone…"

All I could do was watch as he walked outside…

"Brother…" I whispered, feeling at complete and utter loss. I'd just vocalised his worst fear…that he'd die before giving me my old body back…

_**I hope I didn't make that scene too mean *sweatdrop* I just want to stress the worry that is going on between both Edward and Alphonse. Edward isn't the bad guy in the scene, none of the characters are. It's just perspective, which is why I **__**prefer writing in first person so you can get everyone's view on what's happened and feelings etc. Edward is my favourite character in Fullmetal so I hope I don't focus too much on him in future chapters. Please review and let me know what you think. **_

_**Doodle **_

_**x-x-x-x**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys!!! Thank you all so, so much for all of the lovely reviews and support that you have given me on my early days of !!! I'm thrilled that a story that I wrote for fun is bringing enjoyment to its readers. If you guys have any ideas that you'd like to see added to the story itself, please send me a message!!! **

**It's so strange how classical music can stimulate the mind to write, to bring so much emotion without any words. I spent all my time writing this scene listening to the "Pan's Labyrinth" soundtrack, and the one track that helped me the most was: "A Princess". Some truly beautiful work to spur me on to write this chapter. **

**I do not own the characters or the Anime/Manga of Fullmetal Alchemist. ENJOY!**

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**Edward's POV**

I hated crying…especially in front of other people. I always thought it would give people another excuse to call me weak, to pity me, to think: "Poor boy, poor, poor boy". I didn't want to be a pity case, I didn't want charity, and I didn't want someone patting my shoulder. But the person I hated crying in front of the most was Al. Al was my younger brother, and it should be _me _comforting _him _and rubbing his back and tell him not to cry. I hated it when he tried to do the same to me…I hated it when he felt sorry for me. My own brother…and I couldn't even take sympathy from him.

I was nothing to sympathise with. I was a sinner, a sinner who ignored his little brother and destroyed his brother's life. Al's life…it was broken…I ruined it. I took everything away from him. Eating, sleeping, _feeling_…what kind of monster took feeling from his own brother? His flesh and blood…

That's why I didn't tell Al I was sick…that's why I didn't want him to know. He knew now, and he was stopping me from working, he was staying at my bedside and tending to me, giving me sympathy. I didn't deserve his pity, not after what I've done. I didn't deserve _his _compassion.

The tears continued to fall rapidly. I hiccupped helplessly, wailing softly at my own inability to cease the tears. I buried my face in my hands. My auto-mail hand was freezing cold against my flesh, bringing very little comfort. I took my hands away, staring at my organic and metal limbs. I curled both sets of fingers, one curling silently whilst the other curled with a small "_chink_". Metal wasn't loving…it was cold, icy and cruel, artificial and fake. It didn't pump blood, it didn't feel, it didn't bleed…it was just gears and screws and wires. It wasn't mine…it didn't belong to me…

"This is how Al feels…" I breathed, choking on my tears. "Nothing is his anymore…it's just material…not real…not his own…" the tears cascaded faster, pain ripping through my chest every time I inhaled a ragged breath. The pain was nothing…nothing compared to the pain he felt everyday…I wouldn't be surprised if he loathed me…

"I'm the one who deserves to have no body…" I sniffed, the tears flowing like blood from an open wound. "If I could…I would trade my life for Al's body to be back to normal…I know he wouldn't like it…but…it would give him back everything he's lost."

I squeezed my eyes shut, my eyelids trembling as the tears brimmed to the rim, spilling over and sliding down the corners of my eyes to drip off my chin. I rose to my feet, my fists clenched. I opened my eyes a little, growing lightheaded from how tightly I had shut my eyes. I marched over to a tree and started punching it, pounding it with all my might. The bark shattered beneath my fist, splintering and crunching.

"I HATE YOU!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, until every ounce of strength I had vanished. I sank my knees, my hands falling limply to my sides. I looked at my fists. Of course my metal hand showed very little damage, only the damage of metal. My other fist flowed with blood, the skin raw and scraped. My hands trembled. I threw my hands to my face, pressing them against my eyes, sobbing helplessly.

I don't know who I hated…I hated a lot of things. I always blamed my father for what happened to Mom…but I loathed myself more than I could ever hate him. I despised myself. What I'd done. What I'd brought upon everyone else…Maes Hughes…I did that to his family…did what had been done to me…gave his daughter the agonizing pain of losing a parent.

I was unaware of the coughs wracking my body, unaware of the pouring rain, unaware of Al standing a distance behind me. I wheezed as I tried to steady my breathing, to stop the tears that cascaded down my cheeks. I punched the floor beneath me repeatedly.

"It's my fault…" I howled, tilting my head backwards, my tears like beads of fire down my face. "I ruined everything!!!"

"Brother…" Al's voice made my blood freeze in my veins. I stared into space, my eyes wide as the tears fell from them.

"Brother…come back inside," Al continued after a pause, putting his hand on my shoulder. "If you stay out here…you'll make yourself worse…"

"How can you touch me, Al?" I whispered, not daring to look at him, to see again what I'd done to him. "After what I did to you…what I've taken away from you…"

It was almost like seeing him was a sour reminder of what I'd done, waking up to see my auto-mail limbs rather than flesh didn't bother me, it didn't stir that guilt. But when I'd see Al…see him like that…that's what stirred the guilt inside me.

"Because I don't blame you, Brother…" Al said after a moment. "I never blamed you. I could I? You're my older brother…the only real family I have left…if I blamed you, I'd have nothing. You risked your life to bring me back…to give me life again. I want my old body back, sure…but…" he sighed. "…that doesn't mean I hate you. Like I told you before…I could _**never **_hate you."

His words of comfort never reached their goal. His words made me feel worse; they stung and scorched my soul. It broke my heart. The guilt was piling on top of remorse, piling on top of regret…piling on top of self loathing.

"Come inside, Brother…" Alphonse took my shoulders in his grasp, slowly lifting me to my feet. My legs felt numb, like they no longer belonged to me anymore. My eyes rolled a little backwards. My body wouldn't stop shaking. I wasn't cold despite the pouring rain. There was an inner rain, merciless never ending rain. Inside of my soul, the rain hammered down for eternity, icy and unfamiliar…like my auto-mail limbs…

**Deep stuff, eh? What will happen now with Alphonse and Edward? And what about the relationship between Ed and Roy? Will Ed ever learn to forgive himself and will his illness ever fade? Will Al be able to save his brother? **

**Find out tomorrow when I upload Part 7. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Edward's POV**

I heard Alphonse talking to Roy outside my room. I didn't even bother to pretend I couldn't hear them. I just kept my eyes on the door, hearing everything they said despite their efforts to lower their voices so I couldn't listen. I grimaced as a shooting pain travelled from my chest to my legs. The pain was spreading little by little. It was starting to affect other parts of my body rather than just my chest…it couldn't be helped. I re-opened my eyes a little as I strained to listen more to their not-so-private conversation about me.

"He's making himself worse…" I heard Roy say exasperated. "The doctor said he would get rid of any of the fluid on his chest unless he takes it easy and obviously Edward doesn't care about his own health. How long exactly was he sitting in the pissing rain, Alphonse?"

I felt my fist clench at that. Don't talk to my brother like that…I slowly sat up in my bed, groaning as I got to my feet.

"I…I don't know…" Alphonse replied lowly, voice dripping with guilt. "He was just so upset…I just…I thought…"

"You thought what, Alphonse?" Roy pressed.

I opened the door. The pair of them turned to look at me, shocked that I was even up and about. Roy looked embarrassed when he saw me, a pink shade touching the tip of his ears as he cleared his throat.

"Edward, what are you doing up?" he asked gently, taking a step towards me as if I was about to collapse any moment.

"It's not Al's fault," I said, completely ignoring Roy's question. "Don't go blaming my brother, Mustang, or you'll have me to talk to. I was stupid and went out by myself. I don't need someone to babysit me. I'm old enough to take care of myself."

My formal use of his name seemed to take Roy aback. I narrowed my eyes at him as he watched me. His gaze wavered for a second, as if he thought I didn't remember our kiss. I kept our eyes engaged, as if to tell him I hadn't forgotten.

"I apologise, Fullmetal," Roy murmured after a moment of silence. "I was just so worried about you…I didn't mean to take it out on your brother…"

I wasn't surprised when he addressed me formally…I scanned his eyes. His profile was un-readable. Images of our kiss flashed before my eyes as I watched him, subconsciously turning hungry for his lips.

"Brother…"

I turned to look at Alphonse. I smiled a little.

"I get the hint," I teased. "I'll go back to bed." I turned to leave when Al's hand held my shoulder, stopping me. I paused, holding my breath as I waited for what he was going to say next.

His fingers pressed slightly but then his hand dropped from my shoulder. I heard Al sigh.

"Never mind," he whispered.

I turned to look at him to see him already walking away. I blushed when I noticed Roy was watching me. I flinched under his stare and turned once more to retreat back to my bedroom.

"What's with the formality, Ed?" Roy said suddenly, following me into my room. "Don't tell me you have the memory of a peanut and forgot what happened between us yesterday?"

I couldn't even look at him. I sat down on my bed, facing the opposite direction, my back to him as I tucked my knees up to my chest.

"Of course I haven't forgotten…don't be silly…" I muttered, loud enough for him to hear. I couldn't if I wanted to…"

Silence cut between us. A few minutes passed, both of us lost in our own thoughts, struggling with what to say now. I heard my heart pounding in my ears and I guess Roy heard it too. I heard his footsteps come closer, stopping and then felt his arms wrap around me from behind. My face heated up as I felt his cheek rest on the top of my head.

"I'm sorry for taking it out on your brother, Edward," he murmured silkily, his hand stroking my chest in circular moments as if he knew where I was hurting. "I was just so freaking worried about you…one minute you were fine and the next, you had had an argument with Al and was sitting outside in the rain. I didn't know what to expect…I was worried about you…"

It was my turn to sigh as I held his arms around me, leaning my head back to rest perfectly against his chest.

"You promotion-seeking-moron…" I giggled. This seemed to catch him off guard.

"You runt…" he returned my loving banter, kissing my hair.

"I'm sorry for worrying you…" I apologised quietly, leaning my head completely back so we were face to face, me looking up at him and him looking down at me. The tips of our noses were touching ever so gently.

Roy didn't have an answer to that. He simply pressed his lips against mine, kissing me gently. There was my answer…I was forgiven.

**Alphonse's POV**

I didn't bother going up to Brother's room for the rest of the day. Colonel was there…and I didn't exactly want to walk in on them…to disturb their moment. Brother needed Colonel right now…he didn't need his younger brother sticking his nose in everything. I always sorta knew those two had a thing for each other. I was happy for Brother…really.

I sat in the corner of the hall outside Brother's room, just in case he needed me. I was so caught up in what I was reading I guess I was oblivious to everything going on around me. Brother was sick and he couldn't work, so it was up to me to try to find a way to get our bodies back. It was up to me. I was going to make Brother proud.

"Al?"

I looked up to see Brother standing there, peering over me. He smiled when I looked up at him.

"Brother!" I exclaimed. "Should you really be walking around? Don't strain yourself! Where's Colonel?"

"He left," Brother giggled a little. "Jeez, Al, you sure are slow today."

I was unusually glad that I didn't have my body back at that moment because otherwise I'd have blushed. It was something to be grateful for. Brother didn't get to see how embarrassed I was because I knew about his and Roy's relationship.

"Um…Al?" Brother said, not being spared the embarrassment as it emitted from his tone. He sat down next to me, leaning his head against the wall. He paused for a moment, as if awaiting my approval for him to continue.

"Yes, Brother?" I replied after the pause dragged.

"You know…um…Colonel…well…" Brother stammered, his face glowing a vibrant scarlet.

"You guys are together," I said flatly. I suppressed laughter at his expression. Many emotions crossed his face at that. Embarrassment was a frequent visitor in Brother's eyes.

"H-h-how did you know???" Brother demanded, staring at me.

"I heard you guys talking," I answered matter-of-factly. "It doesn't bother me, Brother." Pause. "Brother, breathe please. I don't want you to faint on me again."

Brother inhaled deeply, puffing out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, Al…" Brother murmured, closing his eyes. "I love you, y'know?"

Once again, I would've blushed. I guess I mentally blushed.

"I love you too, Brother…" I returned. "We always used to say that after a fight…"

"Yeah, and you'd say it every time I'd try to get to sleep," Brother added playfully.

"Did not!!!"

Brother laughed. "Did so!!! You were scared of the dark and I used to fall asleep quickly so you'd panic and make me say I love you every five seconds so you'd know you weren't alone."

"Half the time you didn't even say it! You just grunted most of the time!!! And the other half, you'd be asleep and I'd have to crawl into Mom's bed."

"Yeah? I used to go into Mom's bed _**every time **_I had a nightmare. I did it up till the day she di…"

I put my arm around my Brother, feeling his breath hitch with stifled tears. I felt him cuddle up to me. We were brothers…nothing could take that away from us…we fought, we argued, but we still loved one another…even after everything…

**Hope you guys liked!!! I struggled with this chapter. ****I argued with myself what this chapter would be about but in the end, I wanted both brothers' points of views. I love the bond the two have, and the last page is actually based on myself and my younger sister. One or two more chapters left…hope you enjoyed and review this. Thank you. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.**

**Song Recommendations whilst reading this chapter:**

**The Climb – Miley Cyrus (Hate her a little, love the song)**

**All You Wanted – Michelle Branch**

**Brothers – Vic Mignogna**

**I Want A Mom – Cyndi Lauper **

_**Doodle**_

**x-x-x-x**


	8. Author's Note Please Read

_How can I repay you, brother of mine?_

_How can I expect you to forgive?_

_Clinging to the past, I'd shed our blood,_

_And shattered your chance to live,_

_Though I knew the laws I paid no heed,_

_How can I return your wasted breath?_

_What I did not know has cost you dear,_

_For there is no cure for death…_

_**Author's Note**_

**Hello everyone. I'm shocked by the amount of reviews and favourites on this story, my first fan-fiction. It just makes me so happy. I am struggling with the story, I am afraid to say…I watched the Fullmetal Alchemist Movie today, and only wish I'd made Alphonse human in my story. Also, the illness that I gave Edward isn't exactly…true. The illness is a real illness but it's an illness due to another illness. It doesn't make much sense either, I'd just read the symptoms and they'd matched Edward's so I apologise for the inaccuracy. I don't know where to go with the story, leave it with the last chapter or continue it. I don't want to end it if you readers wish to read more.**

**So please, **_**please **_**message me or write a review. I hate it myself when you think they've added a new chapter only to find the person has written something like a note to you guys as the readers but I knew of no other way of asking since I am new to the site etc. I wish to learn your points of views on the story "Repay You, Brother Of Mine…". Do you wish for the story to continue or end on a soft note at the last chapter?**

**Please let me know. Thank you. **

**MyNameIsDoodle.**

**You can also contact me with my Deviantart account: MyNameIsDoodle**

**Or**

**My YouTube account: DatenshiChan01 **

**Hope to hear from you all soon. **


	9. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the long, long wait for this to be written. My exams are coming up so I've been very busy with my DA account, revision and still keeping my social life intact. So sorry for not continuing the story. I've been thinking of ways to finish this and this way seems good, so please sit back, relax and enjoy!!!**** One more chapter or so. The song I recommend for the next few chapters is called "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy.**

**Edward's POV**

I couldn't tell Al and Roy what the Doctor had just told me…I went for a check-up, seeing as though it'd been a while since he'd come down to give me a check over. It had been nearly a month since Roy and I had gotten together, in fact tomorrow would be our one month anniversary. Al was so supportive of everything, more than I could've possibly imagined. And I would soon be allowed to work again and continue the search on finding a way to get our bodies back…well…until I'd went to the doctor's that is.

Dr Hendric's face was grim as he steadily eased himself down onto his seat after listening to my chest, running the usual check up routine. He leaned his elbows on the desk, eyes closed behind black framed glasses.

I felt a terrible jolt in my gut, and my heart started to pulse like mad. I felt like saying that he needn't waste his breath telling me what was wrong, but I couldn't. A part of me wanted to know what he had to say, to hear what was going on with my body. I couldn't let myself die without getting Al back to normal…it wouldn't be fair on him. I better just hear whatever I have to do to get better or prolong my life to give me some time to fix things.

Dr Hendric's eyes opened and he heaved a deep sigh before daring to speak, as if he needed the extra oxygen just to speak these words.

"I'm afraid your condition has only worsened, Mr Elric," Dr Hendric spoke slowly, as if he wanted every word to sink in and digest. "Your lungs are starting to collapse, which is applying extra pressure on your heart. It basically means if you strain yourself…you could have a heart attack and you will unlikely recover…"

The words were like acid, my body trying to digest them but my body knew it was bad, it didn't want it to be there and it wanted to be rid of it like some foul odour. I wanted to walk away from it…but no amount of fresh air could get rid of this.

"So I'm dying…is that what…you're saying?" my voice sounded strange even to my own ears, strangled and choking against tears that my eyes didn't even bother repressing.

Dr Hendric pressed his lips together and closed his eyes as if to give me the answer. I looked down, my fists subconsciously clenching until my knuckles were chalky white. After all those years searching for a way to get Al back to normal…to make atonement…was all a waste? We'd hardly gotten anywhere…our bodies remained the same and our sins still intact. And what about Roy? We'd only just got together…only just realised our feelings…and now those feelings are awakened, they'd only be put to sleep?

"I am sorry…" Dr Hendric said, his voice sounding hoarse. "We will give you some kinds of medication to ease the pain…but it is unlikely you'll live through the year…I'm so sorry." This sounded like the first time he'd ever had to tell someone they were dying, he seemed to be taking this harder than I was as he scraped back his chair to get some medicine.

The medicine didn't even mean anything to me. I wouldn't bother taking them…but I knew deep down I had to. I had to ease the pain a little so I could try to find a way for Al's body to be normal again. I swore to myself in my head I'd do anything to find a way, a way to do it quickly just so I could give him something before I died. I had to do it…I just had to.

* * * *

As I said, there was no way I could tell Roy or Alphonse. I wouldn't…I refused to. I cried for hours when I went home, seeing no one was there so I was completely alone. I lay face down on Roy and my bed, my shoulders heaving with sobs. My chest started to ache but I couldn't care less. My heart was being pelted by jagged stones, stones that sent mixed emotions. They struck different areas of my heart, the area that only wanted to get Al back to normal, the area that didn't care about myself and the area that longed to be with Roy forever and not leave him behind.

I was the only family Al had…how could I leave him…? I'm so sorry, Alphonse…

I didn't realise how long I'd been crying, since I heard the front door click and hear the familiar clinks of Al's armour limbs and the familiar yawn that escaped Roy's soft lips. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my fists, looking in the mirror to see my hair was disarray and my eyes were red and my cheeks blotchy with tears. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath to steady my throbbing heart.

"Edward!!! We're home!" Roy called into the house.

I slowly went to the top of the stairs, forcing a plastic smile as I held the banister for support. Roy looked up at me, as did my brother. That image nearly made me cry again, seeing my lover and brother standing side by side, looking up at me, almost showing how far away we'd soon be, them both living with me in the distance…

"Edward, sweetie?" Roy looked concerned, breaking through my gut wrenching thoughts. "You look pale…are you feeling sick?"

A part of me wanted him to confide in, to throw myself into his arms and sob, and to share the agony that tore through me. But I refused, pushing back the temptation. I'd have to face this alone…I just have to find a way to get Al back to normal and then I'd tell them…

I forced a smile, walking slowly down the stairs. My feet felt like lead as I came to a halt on the second to last step, looking into Roy's eyes. He looked uncertain, his hands rising slightly as if to catch me in case I fainted.

"I just had a little headache," I brushed away his anxious inquiries. "But I'm okay…now that the two most important people to me are home…"

I fell into his embrace, my arms snaking around his neck, our lips connecting as my feet touched the ground, organic leg landed with a thud and automail leg landing with a small clink. Roy closed his eyes, his arms locking around my waist to pull me closer, hips touching. I giggled against his lips only to pull away to look to Al. I never felt such an urge to hug my brother…I walked to him and stretched my arms out like a small child. Al laughed weakly, as if to conceal his own concern as he held me.

"What's got into you today, Brother?" Al asked gently, letting me go.

"What do you mean?" I felt the heat flood to my cheeks, feeling a clammy sensation breaking out across my forehead. "I'm fine, Al. I'm just so happy to see you two…" Roy came up behind me, his chest against my back, hand on my shoulder. My hand reached up to hold his hand there on my shoulder, tilting my head back to look up at him.

"Our one month anniversary is tomorrow, Squirt, if you haven't forgotten," Roy spoke softly, his free hand brushing my bangs from my eyes, his touch feeling traces of burning sensations across my skin.

I pouted. "I'm not a squirt," I protested playfully. "I'm getting taller you know! I'm probably around…five foot now…" I realised how small this was compared to Roy, considering he was around six foot tall. And Al was taller than Roy…jeez, I really am a squirt.

"Well, I'll get started on the dinner," Roy broke the silence, pressing his lips tenderly onto my forehead before breaking our embrace, heading into the kitchen. "Ed, try to relax a little. Don't wear yourself out. Al, if he doesn't do as he's told, pick him up and stick him up on a high place until he obeys. Maybe…a foot stool will be tall enough."

I growled, the sensation tickling my throat. I fought the urge to cough and retreated to the bathroom to cough into my hand, hoping to muffle the roughness. I hated it when I had my coughing fits. Air was so rough against my throat and didn't seem to want to refresh my starving lungs. My lungs seemed to clench tightly like someone was squeezing them, my eyes flooding.

I didn't hear anything after that. One minute I was standing and then my knees seemed to sink beneath my suddenly heavy weight. Liquid was rising from my chest and I spluttered as a splatter of blood stained my white gloves.

_**SHIT!!! **_I thought as I desperately tried to regain the strength to get back onto my feet. _**If Roy or Alphonse find me like this…I'll have no choice but to tell them what's going on. And I can't do that…not before finding a way…to get Al's body back…**_

And with that, I heaved myself to my feet, clenching my fists as I steadied my breathing. I quickly swilled out my mouth to rid of the iron bitter taste that took over my mouth and smell. I spat it out in the sink, the transparent liquid mixing with the crimson, turning into a pale colour.

I brushed my bangs from my eyes, feeling my head was boiling hot. Things were definitely getting worse…I guess Dr Hendric was right…I didn't have long left…


End file.
